i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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