Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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