sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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