VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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