The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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