He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
