North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
