the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
