I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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