I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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