This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
