My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
