So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
