the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
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