Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My breasts were aching with rage.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
