Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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