just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
