careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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