I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
