I look better un-naked...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
