Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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