As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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