i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
