doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
