elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
