Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
