M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize