I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
