just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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