So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
