At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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