I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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