Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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