I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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