your room smells of hookers.
And success
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize