I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize