It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
