So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
