And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
