I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize