I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
