so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
