White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
