i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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