can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
