How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
