i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
