and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
