He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
