It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
