i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
