I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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