There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
