what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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