so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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