yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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